Nothing gold lasts forever

This Fire Horse year has been absolutely gut wrenching chaotic. Only 3 weeks in and my life has flipped upside down, right side up, and inside out again.

Life has been feeling heavy lately - between digital wars, real wars and my own personal war against sleep.. But one thing that Seattle winter/spring always does a good job of is to slowly remind us of what comes next. With the tiniest sparkle of sunshine, a baby flower beginning to bloom and the joys of seeing a puppy on the street - we start to remember that life comes in seasons.

Nothing gold lasts forever, but nothing dark lasts forever either.

In the last 24+ months, I’ve experienced overwhelming joy of finally achieving 16 year old Josie’s dream of moving back to my hometown and rediscovering the city that I grew up in. I also landed a professional gig at one of my dream companies, and starting reaching towards my financial goals. It felt like everything was on track. 

I also watched my heart shatter when we welcomed, and quickly bid adieu to, a fluffy street cat friend (he’s not dead, just a wild spirit of the streets). We also felt the warmth and joy of welcoming a new life into our family, only for it to be torn away a few months later.

At the beginning of this year year, we bought an adorable townhome in our favorite neighborhood, with the kindest and most inspiring community I’ve ever lived in. Only a few weeks later, I lost my dream job.

Life seems to be a lot of whiplash right now - between the highest highs and lowest lows. And not only within a short time frame, but truly climbing to the top of the mountain to drowning at the bottom of the ocean within moments of each other.

Sometimes I feel angry, full of heated rage with nowhere to direct it. Other times I drown in my sorrow, swimming in my tears and holding my inner child as she cries herself to sleep. Other times, I look at the stars and chirping birds and am in absolute wonder of the beautiful life we live.

All this to say that life will pick up again. And it will surely throw me down again. The only thing I know how to do is to breathe with life’s redirections in full faith that it’s leading me exactly where I need to be, at exactly its own pace.